Wake Up Brave

by Emily Rose

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1.
Funfair 02:47
Well I think I’m done suppressing this with cigarettes and french kisses If I could get a lift, baby I would try to get off of this ride I waited in a long line for a thrill, for a waste, for a lie And I think I’m done suppressing this From an inner-monster-time-consumer I’ll run to a platform where I’ll get a sad song sung We’re gonna weed out the doubt then take a long lunch Well I think I’ll write the record now The resentments gonna build anyhow If I could take you with maybe we could fly to the funfair for a limited time But you’ll be waiting in a long line for a thrill, for a waste, for a lie So I think I’ll write the record now
2.
Party Hat 03:36
I’d like to get to know you better so I’m doling out the pleasure, it’s a trick to keep myself from getting better known The heart gets so heavy it drops below the belly where I’m lullabied by familiar tones Here is a letter, a feather, a song, a stone Take them to your home Where security stole freedoms throne, or did freedom leave on her own? I’d like to tell you where I’m going but that would mean knowing which train is moving slow enough to take me on The options are many yet none of them have any benefits for being riotous and married to the song I was wrong when I said I was ready to hold something steady I was selling him a vision I created in my head He took a look at my hands, they were tossing up confetti Here in my room I blow balloons I pace for hours in my party hat I dangle these memories, I spin around and swing the bat Swing the bat, I swing the bat I gotta put another crease in the fantasy sheets, fill the pit with approval it’s a daily task The mind is a tiger you lay the meat beside her, if the bait won’t take try the joint or the flask or just bask in this beautiful moment All the delicate components Surrender sounds easy, don’t it? Till something comes along makes you say Oh shit, I’ve gotta own it Here in my room I blow balloons I pace for hours in my party hat I dangle these memories, I spin around and swing the bat Swing the bat, I swing the bat till they're too scared to come back
3.
I know who you are Dime at the bottom of my purse I can’t afford to dream that you’re more I dropped you in and I dug you out before It’s no safer here, dime at the bottom of my purse Than any beggars bowl, or junkies hand Wearing the cloak of supply over the flesh of demand I reach down inside my bag of phantom riches I cut my fingers pawing at your ridges Removing you is heavy work Dime at the bottom of my purse Seems I made it worse Dime at the bottom of my purse I’m overdrawn and halfway home Still holding onto a coin I don’t own I’m pulling out at any price I scald my hands as a preventative sacrifice possessing you isn’t worth feigning my days away on earth I spent my last dollar on these words Dime at the bottom of my purse
4.
Between the skyscraper on the prairie And where the west begins Ironworkers worked on the Missouri river bridge He said the profits of the trade Were well worth the risk We raised five babes you were our sixth And each morning I’d watch him go My nose against our foggy North Dakota ranch home window Your daddy was a builder of many things I only wish he would have built himself some wings I took a seamstress job in Bismarck after Papa took the fall Ann looked after you, Joe became the bearing wall Had no means for a burial, we were barely keeping fed But we can lay these flowers on the Missouri riverbed And each morning wake up brave If your back’s against a wall that will not budge then leave your love engraved Your daddy was a builder of many things I only wish he would have built himself some wings When you’re forty years old, you’ll receive a telephone call This is when you’ll find out the story isn’t true at all they’ll say we regret to inform you that your father has just died You’ll tell them you already got that news as a little child But I could not bare to say The only bridge your daddy built was the one he used to walk away Your daddy was a builder of many things I only wish he would have built himself some wings I only wish he could have built himself some wings
5.
I got caught skipping stones when I was nine years old I mistook a river for a highway full of cars that same year I called some kid a fucker to his face And the whole fifth grade heard it In middle school I met kids who were cooler than me I told them my name was Emma cause I didn’t wanna be Emily anymore Well I’m so sick of beating myself bloody for not being perfect I think I’ll write my own redemption song In high school I stole a denim skirt from an upscale boutique I also stole some earrings once when I was twenty-three I cheated on a boyfriend with a boyfriend from the past who later asked me to lie on his behalf, and I did I owe Verizon wireless a whole lot of money And I quit smoking cigarettes years ago, that’s what my parents think Sometimes I eat chocolate first thing in the morning Then I take my sad self back to bed Well I’m so sick of beating myself bloody for not being perfect I think I’ll write my own redemption song
6.
Little House 02:55
I moved out, I got a little house A nice back yard for roasting marshmallows on a summer night My neighbors are gonna be like Tim the tool man Taylor’s they’ll peer over the fence, when I need some good advice And all the songs I’ll write So profound, they’re gonna be so proud I moved out, I got a little house but I couldn’t start the fire so I went back inside My neighbors are nothing like Tim the tool man Taylor’s They peer over the fence with their judgmental eyes and the songs don’t come They get a start, but they don’t get done They lean over the sink with the dirty dishes They make me rethink all my wishes I moved out, I got a little house A gas stove for roasting marshmallows the easy way My neighbors are still nothing like Tim the tool man Taylor’s but, that’s ok, it’s not their job to make my day And the songs will come Gotta believe I can finish one Maybe I’ll finish one Gotta believe
7.
The shuffle of your feet is a funny thing Looks kinda like you are going somewhere Well maybe you are, and I don’t want to see That it won’t be with me So hand over the severance pay Two cigarettes and a record to play A compliment if you can get it in you know I like the attention I’m thinking of a number between zero and zero it’s all the times you made a change of heart curtesy call Endearing as it was, in the morning hour You spoke to me in caveman groans An ancient language I have yet to translate it’s hard enough using words to communicate But words like goodbye are a tricky thing They thread through easier when strung by hope Now, I am not a speech coach I just prefer a more direct approach I’m thinking of a number between zero and zero it’s all the times you made a change of heart curtesy call I’m feeling like a line in a book Written in, and written out, without a second look And this is my way of saying Soon I’ll stop looking at my phone for your name
8.
Pamela 03:00
It had been a decade since her husband was alive We encouraged Pamela to move on I’ll admit we were concerned that she believed he would return to love her once more, Pamela watching the door Finally we broke her down, she went online made an account Her photo by the garden For a while no callers called until a pleasant man named Paul Who lived two states away, they started writing everyday Love came back for Pamela She bought a brand new camera Summer, fall, a letter from Paul It said I love you I love you too If it happened to her, it could happen to you It came time for them to get together Paul said he might like Michigan weather So he would come to her after traveling for work He said Pammy wait for me before he flew over the sea His next letter said Darling, I’ve been shot and I’ve been robbed I’m stranded without identification I write to you with urgency the doc won’t do the surgery until the bill’s been paid My love, I’m so afraid There was no time to doubt of spare When love pulls up you pay the fare She took out all her money She followed the criteria, and sent it to Nigeria He’s coming soon she’s sure Pamela watching the door, Pamela watching the door La la la la Pamela La la la la Camera La la la la I love you If it happened to her it could happen to you
9.
Serpentine 02:05
I watched you slur the serenity prayer as the blue bled out of your eyes I could have lived inside your well-crafted promises But then again, I could have died What doesn’t stand up on its own is leaning That’s the role I play in your dream You star in mine as a charmer A beautifully flawed serpentine There’s a war going on inside of you There’s a war going on inside of me too I get lost chasing your storm Or am I running from my own? Either way the windows broken Poison’s leaking in Should it matter the thrower of the stone?

credits

released August 18, 2018

All Songs written by Emily Rose. ©2018 emilyrosemusic
Co-produced by Emily Rose and Mark Bolohan. Engineered by Mark Bolohan.
Emily Rose: vocals and guitars (1-9) ebow (1)
Mark Bolohan: rhythm guitar (2) theramin (1) harmonica (8) vocals (8,9) mellotron (9)
Keith Malinowski: Bass (3,4)
Matthew Daher: Drums (3,4)
Pete Ballard: Pedal Steel (2)
James Anthony: Mandolin (4)
Francisco Monroy: Organ (6)
Audra Kubat: Accordion (8) vocals (8)
Tom Phillips: Bass and Drums (8)
Anthony Retka: Bass (2,9) Shaker (2) vocals (2,8)
Pamela’s Gang lala: Jeffrey St. John, Mar Brisa, Bronwyn Dixon, Audra Kubat, Mark Bolohan & Anthony Retka
Photo: Cybelle Codish. Graphics: Meghan Baas. Thanks Diane for all the suppers and to all my beloved friends and family. Dedicated to Maverick.

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Emily Rose Detroit, Michigan

Songwriter/Poet
Mother of rabbits
1/3rd of Kubat Finlay, and Rose

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