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Cocoon Stew

by Emily Rose

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1.
Sex, Money, God, Ugly (free) 03:37
I live on the edge of a cliff in a hotel room with weekly rates Yellow walls that know my secrets Mirrors that dwell on my mistakes Visitors come to feel me up drink my coffee, spend their luck Bite my nails, chew the rinds When knees are open close the blinds Nobody feels anything real just Sex, Money, God, and Ugly Get through the day A vodka parade Pray your way out The clouds get eaten Moon gets full Brain deals cards behind the skull Somewhere someone's underfed Cause of something someone said We cradle babies born to slaughter while sipping federal toilet water Love has taxes fees and fines Knees are open close the blinds Nobody feels anything real just Sex, Money, God, and Ugly Get through the day A vodka parade Pray your way out
2.
Skyler Blue (free) 01:39
Skyler Blue wept all summer For her lover who didn't seem to care Skyler Blue wrote a letter And warned her lover to prepare It said take care and beware Hell's getting hotter an heaven ain't there
3.
Apartment #2 04:16
I left the newspaper on the porch For the birds to read And when the wind Wandered in I struggled back to sleep I heard a noise From across the room A cobweb serenading a telegram to The kettle in the kitchen Who whistled “it had to be you” Then the curtains dropped The sofa made excuses The secondhand stopped I made it to the floor Where I pined over you I made it out the door and moved out of apartment number two The neighbors theorized The lovebirds rebounded with sky My days moved on with you gone And I maintained rainless eyes New branches grew For me to perch onto Newspaper body count New reasons to miss you I heard a noise From across the room A cobweb serenading a telegram to The kettle in the kitchen Who whistled “it had to be you” Then the curtains dropped The sofa made excuses The secondhand stopped I made it to the floor Where I pined over you I made it out the door And moved out of apartment number two
4.
Full 04:44
A picture-less frame Hangs in an upstairs bathroom I marinated in shame Till Sunday afternoon Took a shower with a stranger Made love to my hand Led a dog to a manger Re-wrote the plans Found mushrooms on the carpet And six bobby pins I’m not gonna give in I am empty again Halfway whole Empty but soon I’ll feel full Wrote letters to loved ones Fictitious tales Drenched in ballpoint delusion I devised the details Sorry for the delay I got the birthday card Been busier than hell Things are going well Give my regards I gained a little weight Drained what I ate Ran until I fell Please don’t tell Back on feet again Learn to eat again I’m empty until then I’m empty until then I’m empty again Halfway whole Empty but soon I’ll feel full
5.
I feel like a bird Trapped in a cage I feel unwelcome here I feel estranged I feel I’ll always be In the corner of a room With many things between us Obstructing your view I feel Like I’ll never really have you I feel like a side dish I’m poisoning your plate she’s your eggs and bacon She’s your chocolate cake She is the force Behind everything you do No, I never really had you And it’s only a matter of time Before she returns And I quietly resign And it seems futile But for you I’ll delay the inevitable I feel like a side dish Hell I’m poisoning your plate She’s your eggs and bacon baby She’s your chocolate cake She is the force behind everything you do No, I’ll never really have you
6.
You lay your hands on me You bore my backbone With your claws You reassure me Of your goodness Then you Camoflauge your flaws You make me weep You make me boil You leave my love on the counter to spoil If you really, really want to keep me, Stop pushing me around I don’t need nobody I gots myself Like a self-proclaimed acrobat Swinging through your hell Sometimes I guess I could use Temporary help This time I could use temporary help You’re far from a blessing And you’re worse than a curse I confused a smooth love-boat ride With a broke down hurse (I said) You make me weep (And yeah) You make me boil You leave my love You leave it on the counter On the counter to spoil No, I don’t need nobody I gots myself Like a self-proclaimed acrobat Swinging through your hell Sometimes I guess I could use Temporary help This time I could use temporary help
7.
Ruminate 03:40
The weatherman predicts rain all week And that seems fitting Since you and I no longer speak The water floods my window With a lack of concern for the air-conditioner I’ll wait till winter to return And I don’t miss you Like I used to I only ruminate when there’s nothing better to do I’ve got your nine inch nails tee-shirt Folded and washed next to my bed I’ve got a can of cambells chicken noodle Paper-weighting a list of all the hurtful things you’ve said I’ve got so much left of you to sort through and dispose I wish you’d just let me Let me let you go Do you have a raincoat To keep your conscious dry? Do you have a woman To keep your temper mollified? Do you miss me like you claim? Have you transcended all the blame? Have you renewed your faith, Have you renewed your faith, Have you renewed your faith in us? Cause I’ve renewed my rancor, my lonesome, and mistrust And I don’t miss you Like I used to I only ruminate when there’s nothing better to do
8.
Fucked 09:45
Once upon a time I built a house of guilt Surrounded by flowers prone to wilting And once I learned not to return I grew a new one not concerning you Baby I love you and you love me It’s only in our nature to disagree If we advance and take the chance Our love could bloom into a doomed romance Cause this ain’t love It’s fucking crazy This ain’t love It’s just fucked up No this ain’t love, It’s fucking crazy This ain’t love It’s just fucked up We’re barreling down a risky road Every tiff turns into an ugly episode I’ve been rundown, I fell unwell It ain’t the common cold It ain’t a little spell No, this ain’t love It’s fucking crazy This ain’t love It’s just fucked up No this ain’t love, It’s fucking crazy This ain’t love It’s just fucked up Once upon a time I built a grave for love A sanctum wholly devoid of the hopefulness I used to feel Fore’ indetermination lost all it’s appeal Baby this ain’t love It’s fucking crazy This ain’t love It’s just fucked up No this ain’t love, It’s fucking crazy This ain’t love It’s just fucked up

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released November 13, 2009

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Emily Rose Detroit, Michigan

Songwriter/Poet
Mother of rabbits

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